Skits

This is where we put our skits!

All skit names are merely there for a reference and are subject to change.

Skits and stuff
Let's talk bad guys:

Lauren: So, um. Can we recap, maybe? What we know about this guy? Donna: Well, basically, he's a traitorous piece of garbage D:< Lauren: Oh. ... Is that all? I'm sure there's more to things than that. Donna: Oh, yeah, but that's the most important thing. He hired me to be his bodyguard to a port town. We fought a bunch of monsters, and afterward he asked why I'd been in the area I was in. When I told him I was there to assassinate a target he took particular interest in who, and eventually I told him to shut him up. That's when he turned on me. Lauren: Maybe he's friends with the guy or something, then? That's really weird, otherwise... I can't imagine what would prompt that, unless... they knew each other. Donna: *shrugs* That, or he was hired by someone to find out what I was planning on doing? Though I don't see that as being very likely. Erik: Are you still going to go after that guy, then, Donna? Donna: *scoffs* Most definitely. Not only was I paid to do so, and the person who hired me would not be too happy if I didn't go through with it, but I want more information on this Randle guy. If he wanted me dead because I was supposed to silence this guy, then I want to know why. Lauren: Well, that's fine... but it really seems unecessarily risky to do this. Can't you cancel the job? I'm more concerned for your safety then anything else. If Randle is serious about not wanting this person dead, he might try to come after her again anyway. Knowing about this guy sounds like a good idea to me, at least. Donna: *nods* Plus, we'd have to trek back up to *insert place here* and waste time unnecessarily, I don't think Shota would appreciate that very much. And I want Randle's head on a silver platter, that coniving bastard. I didn't even get the money for the job! Lauren: Okay that's way too drastic, no way! Relax, please... You do such risky stuff when you're angry... He tried to kill me! I don't know how tough he is one-on-one either, so he might have succeeded if you guys hadn't shown up and possibly saved my ass. How would you feel about him if he /had/ managed to kill me? Lauren: ... Alright, admittedly, he'd be in pieces by now. Haha, kidding! Not that bad. But, he'd definitely be dealt with. Erik: And besides, if we want to find your other sister anyway, wouldn't it be good to have a place to start...? Donna: *nods* I know, we have other things to attend to, I'm just saying it's high priority once everything else is attended to. At least for me, I'll check it out myself if need be. Lauren: Absolutely not. Now that you're with us, why would you think to do something on your own? That's dumb! Don't be such a loner. Erik: You did get in a tight spot on your own, just then... Donna: I didn't say it'd be preferable. Just that I'd do it if necessary. You guys should listen more. Lauren: But it's not necessary. So don't even consider it, dummy. Donna: *shrugs* I'm not psychic you know. Lauren: That'd be pretty neat though. Donna: *grin* Yeah, then I'd be able to predict when Jen was going to do something stupid and end up in jail again. Lauren: ... I wish. That'd make life so much easier! Quick, let's start studying psychic powers!

 How do we shot bail?: 

Donna: So, this is a bit of a dilemma, guys. Lauren: ... No kidding. Not again... Donna: It's not even the fact that she's in there. We don't even have enough money to make her bail this time. I can only imagine what she's done... Erik: This, er, happens often, then? Lauren: All the time! ... as much as I hate to say it. Donna: *Sighs* She's not exactly the most law abiding citizen around... Maybe we should just wait until morning and break her out. We could run for it. Lauren: Uh. Let's not and say we did! What in the world would we do if we /did/ get caught? Donna: We could always fight them off. We're not invalid, you know. Lauren: Well no, but doesn't that make more problems for later? Donna: Ugh, good point. We don't need to make a bad name for ourselves as well... Lauren: Exactly. Maybe we should just get some odd-jobs around town... Donna: That would take /forever/ though. Lauren: ... Probably. I wish money could just magically appear! Donna: Well, we could try seducing the warden. Sometimes that's better than money Lauren: What's to stop him from telling on us after, though? Donna: ...Good point. Men can be such babies if it doesn't go "far enough", too... Erik: That's...probably a horrible idea in general. Lauren: I think he's right. Donna: What? I was agreeing! Lauren: No, I know! But uh... what's plan... D? E? Donna: We could always knock the guard out and put someone who looks similar to Jen in her place? Erik: We're on a relatively small island with no boat of our own, and if something turns in the wrong direction we can't really...escape. So let's...take it easy, I think. Attacking guards sounds like a no. Donna: *grumbles incoherently* Erik: Can't we just pool what money we have together and make the remainder? It might take a little while, but... Donna: We don't exactly have time for that, given that we're trying to find out anything we can about this Randle guy. Lauren: Could one of us go fight monsters until we got some of the cash, maybe? While the other two search? Donna: I suppose that's the best idea... who goes? Lauren: I'm fine with it! Donna: Are you sure? Alone it's really tough out there... Lauren: Aww, you're worrying again. That's cute! But, seriously, I'd be alright. Donna: *huffs* I am not worrying!... Just being practical. And such. Lauren: Fretting! Donna: Oh go already! Erik: Be sure to grab all our gels, just in case... Lauren: *Insert shuffling through inventory here. :|* I'll take plenty! Erik: Come back if you run out. I can heal you, too. Lauren: Of course! Donna: Come back as soon as you think you have enough. Lauren: I'll try to go for a little extra, just in case. But I promise I won't dawdle! Erik: *Nods.* Good luck. Donna: Don't do anything stupid. (Aka: Be safe, Lauren, I love you!) Lauren: I won't, I won't! Good luck to you both too, though.

(How do we shot bail) That's what I'd like to know:

Jen: This is the worst jail I've ever visited. Stiff bed, no crossword puzzle...no midnight snack even! And the guards have no sense of humor. How do you do it, Slick? Slick (a little rat sitting beside her): ... [blinks] Jen: [laughs] Snarky little guy! I like you, Slick! When my little sisters bail me out, wanna come with? Slick: [squeak] Jen: I'll take that as a yes! Slick: [squeak squeak] Jen: Oh, I'm sure they'll be here sometime today. They're loaded with the gald! (y)

 Donna Vs. Erik 

Donna: Hey, you. [Staring Erik down intensely.] Erik: ...What? Donna: Who are you? What are you doing (home) with my sister? Erik: ...I'm not doing anything with her. [Looking a little intimidated.] Donna: ... I never insinuated that you were, now I have reason to believe you are! Erik: ...Wait, what? I'm not! Donna: [Ready to kill him] Oh yeah? So how come you're hanging around with her?! Erik: ...Uh...well, I don't know! [Really doesn't.] Erik: I guess I wanted to help her find you, but... Donna: [Backs down a bit.] You don't have a reason of your own for joining her? Erik: Not...particularly... Donna: ....Hmm.... [not convinced] So then, how did you meet? What brought you to decide to join her to find some random person? Erik: She was unconscious when I found her, and I couldn't just leave her like that, so I... Donna: YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER YOU SON OF A... [Fast approaching him so she can strangle him.] Erik: What wait no I didn't! I healed her! Erik: ...W-well, I dunno how much good it did, but I made sure she was alright, at least! Donna: [Stops and looks away.] Oh. Well. Good of you, then. Erik: ... ... ... Y-yeah.

 Donna Vs. Berneti 

Donna: You. Tall creepy guy. Berneti: Hm? Donna: [narrowed eyes] What are you all about? You're some kind of... whacked out scientist who preys on that short chick. Berneti: What a way of putting it. Donna: Can you disprove it? Berneti: I never said you were wrong... Donna: ... Donna: [glare] Donna: Keep away from my sister. Berneti: As though I had any desire to be close to her... [Sighs.] Don't you worry your little head. I wish to have as little to do with any of you as I can, despite my joining you. Donna: Why did you join us, anyway? Donna: Doesn't seem like you need the help of a healer, a girl looking for her sister and a mercenary who'd cut your throat for the right price. Berneti: It's simply convenient for me. I'm not the best fighter, and...well, let's just say Cytheria isn't something I can afford to lose should anything go wrong. And we just happen to be traveling in the same direction. Donna: Fine then, have it your way. But as long as your with us, leave that Cy....whatever the hell her name is alone. I'd prefer not to wake up to random screaming. Ever. And if I do I'll kill you. Berneti: I have less control over her than you might think in that sense. Should that occur, I have the necessary tools to deal with it. Donna: Well maybe if you didn't mess with her brain or whatever so often you'd have more control.

 Shota Vs. Erik 

Shota: [Staring at you Erik, kind of in a thinkin' pose] Erik: [Aware of this.] ... ... ... Hello... Shota: [Stares a bit more. Gives a drawn out response.] Hi... Erik: ...Something wrong? Shota: ...Sort of. Yes. Erik: ...Oh. Shota: You like someone. I know you do. But I just... I can't figure out who. Erik: ...What? You can't? ...I-I mean, what? Shota: Ahah! I've figured it out! Erik: ... Shota: It's Lauren, isn't it! Erik: ...uh Shota: [Staring you down until you give the right answer. WHICH IS YES] Erik: ...Why do you ask? [Laughs nervously.] Shota: Because. If you do, which you do, you should go tell her. Because otherwise you'll just be a wuss. Girls don't like wusses. Have you EVER met a girl who likes a wuss? Erik: I wouldn't know... Shota: Well they don't, and you never will meet one. So be a man. >:| Erik: ...S-sure. I'll...do that. [Sighs.] Donna: Shota: Good. [A thought seems to occur] On the subject of being a man, what's up with you being a healer? Erik: ...What? Shota: Come, ON. You have to man up and fight! Otherwise you will never get this girls attention. Real men don't.. HEAL, that's a girls job! Erik: ... [O_o] What makes you say that? Shota: Because, men are supposed to protect women, and women are supposed to take care of them men who defend them. Not the other way around. Who ever takes the healer seriously? No body! That's who! Erik: ... [Looks a little sad.] R...right... Shota: [Feels bad, that wasn't his intention.] Look, all I'm saying it learn a few moves... or something. You can still heal and junk, but learn to defend yourself. Hit things with your staff (or whatever you use), learn an arte or two that you can use with it. Erik: ... [Sighs.] I have a few offensive spells...that's good enough for me. Shota: [Shrugs, he lost interest. Tiny people, tiny attention spans.] I'm kind of hungry... Erik: ...

Randle Vs. Erik

Randle: Listen. Erik: ? Randle: I got a question for you. Erik: ...? Randle: Answer it as simply as you can. Erik: ...Okay. Randle: What are you looking to get? Erik: ...Uh Randle: C'mon. I know you're not coming along just for the sake of adventure. You always got this look about you, like you're trying to figure out how to get something. What is it? Erik: ...Nothing in particular, I guess. Everybody's always trying to get something, right? I haven't exactly figured out what that is yet, and I felt like traveling with everyone like this would make it a bit clearer. Randle: Heheh. You're pretty good at bullshittin' on the spot. Erik: ... Randle: Or did you spend a lot of time figuring out how to get around that question, too? Erik: ...What's it to you, anyway? Randle: Oh nothing. Erik: So give it a rest. Randle: You just make yourself seem real shady when you don't make your motives clear. Erik: You're one to talk. Randle: Fair enough. Erik: ...It's not like I'm going to betray you all or anything. I just want to help. Randle: So help. But you're not doing us any favors by keeping us in the dark. Erik: ... Randle: Have a nice day~ [Drifts away] Erik: ... [Sigh.] It doesn't really matter in the end. It's probably nothing, anyway.

 Shota Vs. Erik II 

Shota: Hey, get over here! Erik: ...Huh? What is it? Shota: I saw what you did back there. Don't think I didn't! Erik: What...did I do? Shota: You healed Lauren first! I was just about dead, man! I mean I get that you wanna impress her or whatever, but she didn't even need it! You're just lucky I was able to hold out long enough... Erik: ...That's not it at all! Shota: So what is it?! Erik: Isn't it a sign of good faith? I knew you had it in you to wait until I had helped her, and you did tell me to try to show her that I care, right? I figured you'd be fine with it. Shota: ...Guess that's true. Erik: Sorry... Shota: ...Nah, nah, I get where you're comin' from. Good on ya. Keep it up. [Grins and walks away.] Erik: ...Whew. That was close. I should be a bit more subtle... Donna: [Pops out of nowhere] Subtle about what?! Erik: A-ahh! Nothing!

 Lauren & Erik 

Erik: ...Hey, Lauren? Lauren: Hm? Erik: Uh, how's your health? Lauren: Oh, it's fine. Thanks for asking. Erik: S-sure. No problem. [Smile.] Lauren: ... Erik: ...

 Jen Vs. Shota 

Jen: [Has a weird look on her face. Directing it in the general vicinity of Shota.] Shota: ... ... ... W-what?! Jen: Huh? Oh, nothing! Shota: Then why're ya lookin' at me like that?! Jen: Why do you think? Shota: ...I-I don't know! That's what's freakin' me out! I heard about why you were in jail and all! ...Don't think I won't use these things! Jen: Heheheh, you're pretty cute when you're feisty!~ Shota: ...S-stay back! Aaaah! [Flees.] [Lauren and Donna appear.] Donna: Hahaha! You're way too good at that! Lauren: Yeah, really. Way too good. Jen: It's what I do. Lauren: ...What is? Jen: ... Donna: ... Lauren: ...I'm just making sure we're on the same page!

Shota Vs. Erik (Pirate Costumes)

Shota: Oh man, I really missed this get-up! Erik: ...Really? Shota: Yeah, it's badass as hell! Erik: ...Maybe yours is. Shota: Heheh, good point. Yours is pretty damn cheesy. Erik: I'm just a swabbie, afterall. Shota: Aye, y'are! Now go 'n' swab the deck, matie! Erik: ...Wha-- Shota: GET ON IT! Erik: A-aye aye! [Flee.] Shota: Ar har har har!

 Donna Vs. Lauren 

Donna: I don't like that guy. Lauren: Yeah, I didn't think you would. Donna: He's fishy! What's he following you around for, anyway? Lauren: I dunno...and honestly, it is kinda weird. But he seems nice enough, and he's been behaving since I met him. Just give him the benefit of the doubt. Donna: Hmph... Lauren: Besides, I don't think you're one to talk, Little Miss "I got hired by someone who wanted to kill me"! Donna: And I would've taken care of him whether you showed up or not! Lauren: You should just worry about yourself before you question who I'm traveling with. I seem to have good taste so far. Donna: ...Just don't come crying to me when he stabs you in your sleep. Lauren: He's already had a chance to. Donna: You slept with him?! Lauren: ... [Sigh.]

 Shota Vs. Cytheria 

Shota: Hey! Cytheria: ... Shota: Your name's Cytheria, right? Cytheria: ...Ja. Shota: Never got a chance to thank ya for fixing up my leg. Cytheria: ... Shota: So thanks! Cytheria: ... [Nods.] Shota: ...Why're you so quiet? Cytheria: ... Shota: C'mon, pipe up. Cytheria: ... Shota: Go ahead! Cytheria: [Flees to Berneti. Cling.] Berneti: Please don't disturb her. Shota: I wasn't! God, you'd think she's a damn mute or somethin'... Berneti: [Chuckles.] Cytheria: ...

 Berneti & Cytheria 

Cytheria: ...Why do you...? Berneti: ...Ah, well, it's a little complicated. I'd rather it wait until later. Cytheria: ... [Nods.] Berneti: It has to do with an...experiment that I was once involved in. Though I suppose you could say I still am. Cytheria: ... Berneti: Don't worry. I don't intend on keeping you in the dark forever. ...I just feel the need to wait until certain tag-alongs aren't around. Cytheria: ... [Moves hands to her guns.] ? Berneti: ...No, that's alright. There's no need. Cytheria: [Nods...] Berneti: Thank you, though.

Shota Vs. Berneti

Shota: I'm telling you, they're fine! They gotta be! Berneti: They do not "gotta" anything. Shota: Well their bodies aren't anywhere around here, are they?! They musta moved or something! Berneti: Or a wolf made a meal of them. Shota: ...G-geez, lighten up! Berneti: No. Shota: Think I'm gonna hurl if ya keep talkin' like that... Berneti: Please don't. It'll make it more difficult to smell a rotting corpse should we pass one by. Shota: ... ... ... Berneti: What? Shota: You're a damn freak! Berneti: ...

Shota Vs. Randle

Shota: It's cold as hell! Randle: Whine more. Maybe it'll heat you up. Shota: Shut it--you're so tough, give me your jacket or something! Randle: No. Shota: Why not?! Randle: It's for adults. Shota: What?! The hell does that mean?! Randle: That this jacket is only to be used by adults. Which you're not. Deal with it. Shota: But I'm freaking cold! Randle: Tough shit. Shota: AARRRGH! [Stomps off.] Erik: ...It's "for adults"? Randle: Hahaha! He's really easy to fuck with. Bratty little punk. Erik: It is cold, though. ...I'll go give him mine. [Chases after him.] Randle: Well then you'll be cold. ...Oh well. At least he'll whine about it a bit more quietly, I guess.

 Jen Vs. Randle 

Jen: Randle, right? Randle: Yeah. What? Jen: Aren't you the one that attacked my sister? Randle: Probably. Why? Jen: Just wondering. Can I ask why? Randle: Sure. But before you do, I'll just answer: I didn't know it at first, but she was the person I was supposed to be looking for. Jen: ...What'd you need her for? Randle: Just needed to kill her, that's all. Jen: Why? Randle: Sorry. Can't divulge that. Jen: Ugh, well, that makes me pretty damn uneasy to be traveling with you. Randle: My bad. Jen: I'll let it slide for now, I guess. But you better come clean with a damn good reason when we're off this damn mountain. Randle: We'll see.

 Erik Vs. Randle 

Erik: How did you get caught? Randle: What? Erik: On the ship. Randle: Oh, right, that. Well you know I was going after those three, right? Erik: Yeah? Randle: They ended up being a bit too strong for me. And by "a bit," I mean "a shitload." I wouldn't have gotten anywhere trying to take them down personally, so I decided to have them put me right under their noses so I could keep an eye on them. Erik: So you got caught intentionally. Randle: Bingo. And it worked out, because look who got thrown in the brig not too long after me! Erik: But what do you need those two for? Randle: For now, I just need to keep them away from those three. Same as you. Erik: And then? Randle: Dunno. Haven't been told that much. Erik: Isn't that a little... Randle: Hey. Whatever it takes. Erik: ...Well, so long as we're trying to do the same thing, I guess I'm okay with us working together for now. Randle: Wonderful. So glad to have your blessing. I was awaiting it. Erik: I'm just trying to let you know where I stand. Randle: Little conceited to think I care. Erik: ...Yeah, I guess it is. Randle: Not that I have a problem with it. Erik: ...Well, that's great, then.

Jen & Erik

Erik: [Sigh.] Jen: Hm? Somethin' up? Erik: ...No, nothing. Jen: You dirty little liar. Erik: ...D-do you have to put it like that? Jen: C'mon. You can tell me. Erik: ...I'm just a little worried about Lauren. ...A-and Donna. Jen: But mostly Lauren. Erik: ...I guess. It's not that I don't think she'll be fine, I'm just nervous. Jen: Well, you're right. She can handle herself. She's a big girl, got a lot of spunk, and I'm sure we'll be seeing her again real soon. Plus Donna's with her. Those two are an unstoppable team. Erik: ...Yeah. Jen: Sure she's just as worried about all of us. Don't give her any more reason to. Erik: [Nod.] Yeah, I guess you're right. Thanks.